the four right chords can make me cry

should i skip class today or not?
should i join them for dinner or not?
how do you answer the question "are you ok?"?
where did haiku of the day go?
who will win the drawing contest sem1 05/06?
what is a "Denise Austin: Trimwalk" vcd doing here?
am i really alone?
what's going to happen?
where are you?
do i like dan tham's surreal elephant more or deb's buangkok one?
will i ever get to hear that song again?
what is the purpose?
who are you?
when will i know?

posted by beckyboo @ 11:57 AM 1 comments

anyone free for dinner today?
i'm feeling lonely and restless.

posted by beckyboo @ 4:25 PM 0 comments

he's the best shopping bag carrier cum fashion advisor cum ATM cum goofy photo-taking partner in the world!

spent all my money on
- brown t shirt
- polar bear polo
- green 3 quarts
- fake red birkenstocks which look pretty real!

satisfied/happy.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:58 PM 0 comments

maximality is not optimality.

despite best efforts to the contrary, term break is going to be quite activity-filled. oh well. at least i got so slack over the weekend somewhat.

one thing i did not get to do was talk to enai. bleh.

why are there so many bugs? on friday this huge grasshopper (small locust), flew straight at me, thankfully landed on my bag which was covering me, if not i would have shrieked. and there was one of those beetle thingys flying around in my room last night. i am quite the bug-magnet it seems.

maybe i'm giving off phermones.

i had some superb sambal kangkong, it was everything i envisioned sambal kangkong to be. very spicy sambal sauce. unfortunately, it went down the wrong way, reducing me to a tearing, coughing, source of entertainment for my family members for about 2 minutes.

next up on the to-do list: curry fish head!

Jars of Clay : I'm alright

It was the fear of God that led me to you
And it's the fear of you that takes getting used to
I've never been one to hang my heart on a thread
But you spun me around and you loved me instead

I know I could turn to something other than you
'Cause I don't understand you and why you're after me
I've never been the saint you wanted me to turn to
And I can't see the view from the eyes you look at me through, oh no

But I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright
I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright

So cut below the surface and try hard not to notice
That I could be so foolish thinkin' I'm alright
I've got no one to hold me, I've got no one to carry
Everything inside of me that I won't let you see

posted by beckyboo @ 12:56 AM 0 comments

mooncakes.

i really miss beng. was really touched that he still cares about us, even after so many years, that he even bothered to buy ice cream mooncakes for us, and come all the way down to deliver them. he will always be my da ge. he used to write to us and encourage us, buy us stuff he knows we like, call us up from australia to make sure we were ok, listen to my petty 15 year old kid problems. i see him next to never, but when i do, i'm so happy that i'm skipping like a lamb.

he makes me remember the better part of those days, when things were starting to get better. those days when it was me, ben, kenny and kel, of guitars and slacking in school. growing up in the youth group. eating ice cream at the top of the carpark. the days when i was everybody's little girl and they would pat me on the head.

the swensen's vanilla and sunflower ice cream mooncake rocks.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:05 AM 0 comments

hello, world.

according to the hypothesis
big bang: point of singularity.
all the infinite complexity of the universe
to quarks, neutrinos and quantum forces

my audience.

posted by beckyboo @ 10:46 AM 0 comments

notes
- i continue to resist the urge to ingest my friend's body shop mango shower gel.
- day 4 of caffine cold turkey.
- speaking of turkey, i had kebab today! and hazelnut gelato! super yummy =)
- even though he's in year 5, he's got the innocence and eagerness of a puppy. how cute! (^_^)
- in the span of 2 minutes, zineng spoke to me in 3 languages.
- i think if i see another student essay this week, i will implode.
- if possible, i would walk along those tree-lined roads unhurriedly; rather than cram up the shuttlebus. but its not possible.

posted by beckyboo @ 12:52 AM 0 comments

LOL!

yes, i am rather keen on yelling!!!




very amused!

posted by beckyboo @ 8:35 PM 0 comments

book your slots!

you know, maybe i should have an online scheduler like they have for the writing centre slots...

in the coming week i will be free:
monday: 2-4 (arts)
tuesday: 10-12 (science)
wednesday: 2-4 (arts or science)
thursday: 3-4 (arts)
friday: 10-12 (arts or science)

book early to avoid disappointment!

posted by beckyboo @ 3:04 PM 1 comments

friends

jamie brought up the topic of how absolutely bizarre and fragile human relationships are. it really got me thinking.

i feel like i've built a glass cage around myself. it may appear to be completely transparent, but in reality, it's still a barrier. i thought that what i had was claustrophobia, but looking at the vast emptiness around me, i realise that it's really isolation that i'm afraid of.

they asked jamie what i was like before, i really wanted to know what he thought, but he was pc and evasive.

everyone spoke of it this way: a few very close friends, then good friends, then acquaintances and then the rest of the world. i have so many good friends, more than i deserve. but no one whose heart is right next to mine.

but still, the fact that there are people who have been wonderful to me and were physically next to me was undeniable. just sitting there and talking to jason, chels and jamie was really nice, we all expressed regret that the busyness of school didn't allow us to do that more often.

i don't know if i should be happy or sad.

maybe those terms are too absolute in themselves. how can they adequately even begin to describe our emotions? they are merely placeholders. for now lets just say that what i feel is "this twisty feeling on my insides, not particularly positive or negative".

posted by beckyboo @ 1:43 PM 0 comments

faces in the crowd

i liked this one, he was recklessly calm. and suphaap to boot.

he was pristine. transcendent, above all of the din and oil and woks and eggs. and oasis of tranquility, still pools in his eyes. i want to cultivate that look, bordering on glazed.

she was sublime. the worlds orbited around her in her great girth. so coy, so subtle; everyone had missed it; except for me. one hand, briefly pressed in another, speaking volumes of tenderness, in a language only understood between mother and child. or do i presume or impose?

his windows were oddly framed, deeply tinted. it was almost as though he didn't want anyone to look in. i'm not sure, but i think i saw.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:26 PM 0 comments

my mother
has the unique distinction of being the person who brings out the worst in me. no one can piss me off like my mum does, no one rubs me the wrong way so badly. i don't know why i react so explosively to her. do you remember those secondary school chemistry demonstrations? like sodium to water, spectacular pyrotechnics, leaving at least one party consumed at the end of the reaction.
i don't show her any respect and she doesn't respect me either. a wonderfully mutually destructive relationship.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:11 PM 0 comments